Month: April 2013

EVIL DEAD

Ok, so I finally got to see the evil dead remake. I actually really enjoyed it. I mean, it could’ve been a hell of a lot worse, but also a hell of a lot better. I think if it wasn’t 18-R then it would’ve just been another mediocre teen horror film, but the extreme gore done it for me.
I didn’t think it was as good as the original, but i didn’t set out to make comparisons, and I probably would’ve enjoyed it even more if the films tagline wasn’t ” the most terrifying film you’ll ever see” I think that was a stupid move as most avid horror fans make it their mission to constantly seek out the sickest and most frightening shit available. I have seen some seriously fucked up films man.
Folk were complaining about the actors, saying that they were nobody’s. well fuck them, if they got well known actors then who do you think would’ve been in it? Chris Hemsworth,Megan fox?. I think the cast did a great job, so those people can just shut the fuck up.
Another thing people were saying was ” it wasn’t funny, I liked the original better” so I wanna put those motherufkers straight. The original “evil dead” was not intentionally funny. The guys set out to make a serious horror film. The only reason that anyone ever laughed at it was that “ash” was probably the first unfortunate hero ever on screen, and Bruce Campbell played and created the best demon slaying, witch hunting, chainsaw handed, boomstick holding motherfucker ever on screen, and continues to impress generations of horror fans. So when people found out that there was gonna be no “ash” character they started bitching like little bitches.
The first bit of the film, I do admit is like an episode of “one tree hill” ( i blame diablo cody) and there is a back story that you couldn’t give 2 fucks about( I blame Diablo Cody) but once you see the necrinomicon shit gets very crazy, very fast.
I thought it was really well shot, and “Fede Alvarez” done a great job. He stayed true to the original storyline but just visualised it a little different. I thought the basement scenes were fantastic, and was an improvement on the original. I did think they should’ve kept the original song for the witch bitch singing in the basement (hush little baby) the new song just didnt quite cut it for me.
Overall a great film for a new generation of twisted minds and gorehounds, and despite reading horrible reviews from crackheads on IMDB. This film was a welcomed entry into the tiresome and repetitive American horror genre that are more interested in sugar coating horror films so kids can go see them in cinemas.
A damn good job.

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MAN FROM NOWHERE

This film is very straight forward. A guy who owns a local pawnshop befriends his next door neighbour who happens to be a 8yr old girl. He goes through each day not saying a word and ignoring every attempt that the little girl makes to try and get him to talk..
When the little girl is kidnapped by a group of men who wanna harvest her organs, he takes on the whole crime syndicate by himself, leaving countless amounts of corpses along the way.
I thought this film was unreal. I am not a huge fan of action movies, but this movie reminded me of “Leon” with a little bit of “man on fire”, and to top it all off that, its fucking Korean, and it kicks serious ass.

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EL INFIERNO

The film starts off with “Benny” getting deported back to Mexico from the United States . The border cop says something like ” welcome to Mexico, don’t ever fucking come back”, and from that moment on Benny is thrown back into the world of violence, drugs, guns which he tried to leave 20 years ago. After being mugged several times at gunpoint on his first day back “Benny” is now desperate and sees no other choice but to hook up with old friends who now work for a cartel. He needs to earn money and get his brothers wife and his nephew across the border and back into the United States.
I don’t think this film would work any wonders for the Mexican tourist industry, it really does make Mexico look like a really bad place, hence the name “el infierno” (hell), but in saying that, this film is remarkable, brilliantly written, acted, extremely violent, sad, and has murder and corruption in almost every scene, but the best thing about this film is that although it had all the violence, murder and corruption and is drenched is depressing and shocking realism, they still manage to keep you laughing and entertained right to the end.
Highly recommended

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THE PERFECT HOST

This film definitely was a strange one, but a fucking awesome one.
Have you ever wondered what ” Dr Niles Krane” would be like if he was in a far more serious and sinister role? Well “the perfect host” gives us just that. His character is bang on the money and is almost identical to his character in “frasier”, he just had to tweak it a little bit (but not much). I couldn’t help but think I was watching a fucked up feature length episode of “frasier” , which we all know can never be a bad thing.
So the story is about a dude called “John”, he has just committed a bank robbery and had been hurt in the process. Desperate and nowhere to go, he gate crashes a dinner party in a nearby housing estate, which is being hosted by “Warwick” played by “David Hyde Pierce”.
I won’t say anymore about the storyline, the film is dark, fucked up and extremely funny and the acting from both lead roles was fantastic.
A superior thriller from the states, full of nice twists and turns, and a nice blend of dark humour, and with one of the most unusual but satisfying endings I’ve ever seen.

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KILLERS

Currently still in production. “Killers” is the story of two serial killers, one who has a huge online following, and the other who is a copycat murderer . The copycat murderer is starting to steal the limelight from our main guy , which leaves him no other choice than to travel from Japan to Indonesia and hunt him down, kill him, and earn back his respect. The premise of this film sounds brilliant, people who enjoy a really good serial killer movie like “I saw the devil”, and like their films a little fucked up and disturbing are going to be left speechless as this film is gonna give us two serial killers, and two directors who aren’t scared of going for the jugular and leaving us feeling uneasy.
I know for a fact this film is gonna be insane. From the writers ( mo brothers) of the demented serial killer film “coldfish” and the extremely disturbing and blood soaked fucked up family movie “macabre”, and financially backed by “merantau pictures” which is owned by “Gareth Evans” the writer and director of ” the raid”. Release date TBC

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MANIAC

When I first heard they were gonna be remaking “Maniac” I wasn’t interested at all, and even more so when I heard that “Elijah wood” was playing the serial killer, not that I’ve a problem with “Elijah Wood” as an actor but i just thought he was too clean cut and baby faced to play a such a deranged killer. I thought it would just end up another15 certificate movie that would be released in the cinema and would be forgotten about not long after.
So, curiously got the better of me of me and I finally caved in and checked out the trailer on YouTube. I was wrong about everything, the trailer looked really intense, sick, unique, and I was sorry that I ever doubted “Elijah Wood”.
The story of a fucked up serial killer in NewYork city who runs a shop by day and kills woman at night, removing their scalps as trophies.
The story is completely told through the eyes of the killer, and as far as I know you don’t really get to see the killer that much, you might catch a glimpse of him when he looks in the mirror or you see his reflection in a car or window so that alone sounds really unique The reviews I have read about this film are fantastic and it will be released in selected cinemas quite soon.

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ELYSIUM

“District 9” was one of those films that everyone enjoyed. It’s was even suitable for kids (well I think so anyways) I made my girlfriend watch it, and the Lord knows that she be very hesitant when it comes to watching my films. Anyways she watched it , she fucking loved it, and I haven’t met anyone who hasn’t enjoyed it. Adapted from a short but genius film that “Neil Blomkamp” posted on youtube called “alive in joburg”. Peter Jackson caught a glimpse and immediately seen the potential and flew Neil blomkamp to the shire m New Zealand where they apparently sat up all night and played call of duty zombies and talked about how they could adapt his short film into a full length feature.
Blomkamp was also working for free in a production company and in return he would be allowed to use their equipment. The production company was owned by “sharlto Copley” who played “wickus van der meere”” in district 9. Blomkamp and Copley had a pact that if blomkamp ever got the chance to make a full length feature then Copley would play the leading role. I have to say that for a first feature “sharlto Copley” was fucking unreal. I found it very difficult to believe that this was his first ever role he done a great job and so did blomkamp.
So 4 years later we have “Elysium”, the brand new feature from “Neil Blomkamp” which also stars an almost unrecognisable “sharlto Copley”, and by the look of it he looks pretty evil. So for his second feature “blomkamp” has managed to get some of the biggest names in Hollywood on board. I am not surprised that when “Matt Damon” read the script he immediately wanted to be part of “Elysium” as did “Jodie foster”.
So the year 2154 and earth has been destroyed and left in ruins, but still remains populated by the less fortunate and poor . The rich and powerful have packed up their suitcases and moved house to “Elysium” a superior space station run by “Jodie Foster”, where everyone lives the life of luxury and no one can ever get sick as they have some sort of machine that scans your and cures you of all illnesses.
So meanwhile back on earth, poor old Matt Damon” is dying (of what I dunno) and has no other choice but to infiltrate “Elysium”, use the no more disease machine, maybe save humanity,and return to earth to do whatever he does.
The official trailer was just released a few days ago on YouTube and it looks absolutely fantastic. Matt Damon undergoes some serious transformation using weaponry that is custom built and bolted into the back of his head and can only be activated using his DNA so I don’t even know what to expect from that but I know that its gonna be epic.
As for Sharlto Copley”, I don’t know what to expect. I have heard rumours that he will be playing some sort of bounty hunter but we will have to wait and see.
I know for a fact that no film in this genre will even come close to the brilliance and intelligence of the script, the originality of the way that’s its shot and just like DIstrict 9 people will be able to relate to the storyline, even though the year is 2154. I wouldn’t be surprised If this movie breaks some serious records in movie history when its released.
Bring it on

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